From time to time, many people that I know express their unhappiness with the actions of others. Their frustration leads to head blockages that create a sense of anxiety and irritation. In today’s post, I thought I’d take a moment to tell you how I look at other members of our society, and how I choose to deal with them.
I hope you find this post of some benefit.
How often have you heard someone tell you that you should be respectful of X, respectful of Y, and respectful of Z?
I hear a lot of people using the “R” word (Respect), but to be quite frank, most of the folks using that word are worthless.
There are two kinds of Respect:
1). Societal
2). Earned
Societal Respect is what my kids learn in school. They are taught to assign respect to another person’s property, beliefs, and role as an authority in the educational environment. If you’re a kid, you don’t walk up to the school principal and say, “What’s up Dave?” Instead, you say, “How are you today Principal Jones?”
To a degree, I ALSO make it a point to be respectful of my fellow members of society. Naturally, like anyone else, there are certain things that tick me off. For example, if you were to wish me a “Merry Christmas” around the holiday season (instead of “Happy Holidays!”), in response, you would receive a verbal beating. Yes, I AM one of those folks who wants to take away “your” Christmas. I don’t celebrate Christmas, and neither do many other folks in this country and on this planet. To my knowledge, there has been no proclamation that the holiday season belongs to one particular faith. Wish me a Merry Christmas, and I will reduce your ass to dust. Simple. You have been warned.
CASHIER: “Merry Christmas!”
ME: “I am Satanist. We worship the DARK LORD. We celebrate our holiday on the 25th of December. Hundreds of us get together in a penthouse suite in Vegas and have sex with each other. It’s a mammoth 3-day orgy. We even have some goats. Mmmm.”
Societal Respect is about not touching anyone else’s “stuff.” It’s about being respectful of someone else’s property. It’s about recognizing someone’s accomplishments – unless they say otherwise. When people say “Goodmorning Dr. Marc,” I tell them to simply drop the “Doctor” and kindly refer to me as “My Lord” (as in the Dark Lord). “Good Morning My Lord!” See – doesn’t that sound better?
Earned Respect is is a very different animal – especially for me.
Here’s what I mean:
We all age. We all die. Therefore, growing older is a part of life. It’s not a choice. It just IS. Sooo, when someone tells me that my children should respect their elders, I am quick to verbally smack them along side of the head. Age does not deserve respect. Knowledge deserves respect. Accomplishment deserves respect. But age? NO WAY. Does an old rapist deserve respect?
I respect MY parents (for many reasons) but I know a lot of parents and grand parents who aren’t deserving of squat. A stupid old person is just that – a person who is stupid, but who has also aged. Sorry, “No respect for YOU!”
There are many folks who DEMAND respect, yet do everything possible to trash it. I had a run-in with a woman and her boyfriend at Costco. The woman, who had a nice body and breast implants that would make Busty Hard jealous, was talking like a two-cent whore (not that I would know how a two-cent whore talks) while my family and I were in line.
I NICELY and discretely asked her to tone it down. I even used words like “please” and “thank you.” In response, she said, “Who the F are you?” So I asked my wife and kids to wait elsewhere, told her who I was, insisted that she shut up, and asked her why she smells like rotten fish. Is that wrong?
Her boyfriend then responded with, “Watch your mouth when talking in front of a lady!” I told him that I would do so WHEN there was a lady in front of me. All I saw was a skanky ho. And then, like we were back in high school, he asked me to step outside. Ridiculous? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. I responded with “AWESOME!” Hey – I might be 44, but I’m in the best shape of my life and I’m a true believer in giving the schoolyard bully a firm beating. No problema.
Just as we step outside of Costco, he turns to me and says (with a shaky voice and watery eyes), “Look dude – you were right.” Then he sticks his hand out as to offer me a handshake. I shook his hand, and then told him the following: “You are going to go inside and tell your skanky ho to apologize for talking like a whore in front of my family. If you don’t do that, I will heavy-up the insults, thus making you look like the weak boyfriend who is not defending her honor. Is that clear?” He responded with, “Hey man – you’re right – I’m wrong.” Sooo…he went inside, told her to apologize, they argued, she eventually apologized, and then we both continued on our way.
Being of a certain gender does not earn you VBR.
There are people out there who believe that certain objects are deserving of respect…just because THEY say so: “This vase is very valuable, so keep your distance.” I was spoken to in exactly that manner when walking through a store in Miami. In fact, I had just walked into the store. I was even dressed to impress. In response, I walked right up to the piece of over-priced pottery so that my large nose was approximately 3 mm from the vase. I then proceeded to stare at the vase. After a minute or two, I turned to the overly-flamboyant sales person and said, “Okay – so now what are you going to do?” I don’t care HOW valuable an object is, no object is more valuable than a little bit of courtesy. And starting off the conversation by treating me like shit is only going to get you in a mess of hot water. I guarantee it.
The owner of a Maserati decided to park close to the entrance of Whole Foods, but decided that – because he had a Maserati, he could park his car on an angle, thus taking up two spaces. I could have simply let that go. In fact, I would have let it go if he had parked his car out in the boondocks. But that’s not what he did.
Here’s the problem: I don’t like certain “injustices.” I just can’t sleep at night when that kind of crap goes down. Most things don’t bother me, and yes – life is too short to be petty, but some stuff just needs to be TERMINATED for the benefit of the masses.
Sooo…I took my truck and parked it so close to his Maserati that there was no way he could get into the driver’s side of the car. The Maserati owner was waiting from me as I exited Whole Foods. As you might expect, he was a Biff. What’s a Biff? A Biff is a 30 – 50 year old guy, with a lot of goo in his hair, who wears vibrant Polo-style shirts (collar up…usually) – with plaid shorts and brown sandals.
I believe that when he saw a large bald guy wearing black coming at him, he decided to change his choice of words. He said, “Uhh..is this your truck? What’s going on?” I told him who I was and then enlightened him as to what “could” happen to his car if just happened to be parked around town – at an angle that creates an inconvenience for others. And yes, I did tell him who I was and where I worked (LOL). I just don’t care. Let him talk trash about me. So what. He then entered the car from the passenger side and drove off without giving me a finger gesture (that I could see).
Anything outside Societal Respect must be earned.
It is my choice as to whether or not I will respect something or someone. You can’t and won’t demand it. You must earn it.
I won’t respect an old person simply because he/she is old. Age does not necessarily make you more wise. There are plenty of old people who are just not smart. They never have been, and they never will be.
I won’t respect a woman simply because she is a woman. Being a woman does not make you smart or classy. It just makes you a person of another gender. I am chivalrous to a degree that my wife will claim is unmatched. But a nasty person is a nasty person – regardless of gender, and will be dealt with by the DARK LORD accordingly.
I won’t respect a vase simply because some flamboyant little man tells me that it’s worth more than the minimal courtesy I deserve as a prospective customer.
And I don’t respect ANY automobile. I have driven very nice cars in my life – even nice than Biff’s Maserati. At the end of the day, it’s a car. I don’t care what you drive, and I am sorry for your genital challenges, but I do care if your perception of who you think you are translates into being a tack in the shoe of society. Someone has to do something about these folks, and I for one, am stepping up to the plate.
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc (The DARK LORD)