I listen to a great deal of “talk” about passion, philosophy, and purpose – relating to both personal and professional aspirations. The folks doing the talking are usually sitting across from me at a table – chatting about a business idea or a personal endeavor, and telling me where they want to go in life. I am a good listener, and as such, listen to every detail of their “plan.” When they’ve finished talking, I respond with a few questions.
Do you believe that your “passion” is what’s going to transform your idea to fruition? Really? I know plenty of folks who are “passionate” about many things, yet they lack the internal modus operandi to make it happen. They may actually have a plan, but behind every plan is an operating system that is either working RIGHT or working WRONG. If their plan is WRONG, then no amount of passion and/or determination is going to make a difference.
I know a couple of women who opened up a boutique (women’s clothing) in a town about 25 minutes northeast of here. They were very passionate about the clothing lines they were carrying and how “cool” the store looked. In reality, however, it wasn’t their passion that financed the business. It was their wealthy husbands.
WOMAN: “Ho-neeeey…Susie and I want to open up a boutique downtown. We have a great idea and we are sooooooo excited!”
HUSBAND: “Gee…I don’t know. We’re talking about a lot of money, and downtown – well, rent is not cheap down there.”
WOMAN: “Oh baby…mommy will be sooo happy. Mommy will do ‘things” for you – even if it isn’t your birthday, but only if you give me the money.”
HUSBAND: “Let me get the checkbook.”
The store opened, and remained open for quite some time. It wasn’t because they had a plan, rather – it’s because they had a never-ending supply of funds. Their passion and purpose sounded great, but wasn’t realistic. The store eventually closed.
The same thing takes place on a personal level. Think about a person who commits to getting in shape, but then doesn’t:
MAN: “Duh…I tried getting in shape, but there ain’t no way I’m giving up my martini’s…and my hotdogs…and my….”
WOMAN: “I tried losing weight, but who the heck wants to look like one of those models? Besides, it’s all airbrushing. Anyway, so I was watching my favorite talk show, and my favorite female talk show host told me that – rather than losing weight, I should simply make peace with myself and accept my bawdy. Cholesterol shmesterol! She told me that I should love myself (sob, sob, sob). Hooray!!! Hello Domino’s? I’d like to order a lawge cheese pizza and a Doyet Coke. See – I just started my doyet!”
A commitment to something is just an idea. Without the underlying mechanism, your idea is worth shit. Sorry to be so blunt, but there’s no other way to put it. Most folks lack the ability to self-analyze. They focus on the idea, rather than the mechanism.
When you have the underlying mechanism in
place, then many things are possible.
Do you ever notice how some people can seemingly weave a piece of poop into gold, and others seem to run into obstacle…after obstacle…after obstacle? It’s not just luck (good or bad). It’s what’s inside, and despite what you THINK, it is a learned skill (and it’s never too late to learn it).
You can look at any example you like – business-related or personal, and you will see that it’s not the “shell” that’s the problem, rather the yolk that’s the REAL issue.
Look at the airline industry. The planes are not the problem. The pilots and the crew are not the problem. The real problem is the underlying mechanism – the structure. The underlying structure is such that the people who work along the periphery of the shell (the pilots an crew) are under the control of the underlying structure. The passengers boarding the plane are also of a certain mindset, because of what? That’s right – the underlying mechanism. Higher fees, new fees, delays, poor treatment, etc. – are a byproduct of a bad system. They can add personal video devices in the seatbacks, but all that’s doing is putting perfume on a turd.
On a personal level, take a look at Joe. Poor guy – Joe’s been married three times, and divorced three times. Okay, so the first time might be a mistake. But the second and third time? It’s never Joe’s fault. Never. Yet with each new woman, Joe starts off as Mr. Nice Guy and then, slowly but surely, out pops the turtle from its shell. Joe’s like that guy from the Julia Roberts movie, Sleeping With The Enemy: All the cans must be facing the right way, and all the towels must be just so.
In both cases, the airline industry and Joe forgot something: They forgot to fix the underlying mechanism. The natural reaction with regard to personal issues is that the person needs a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. Maybe, but isn’t that like saying any person who needs to lose 25 lbs. requires a cardiac surgeon? Really? A cardiac surgeon? Surgery? Perhaps we should try something less invasive FIRST?
If you or someone you know keeps running into walls (in business or personally), perhaps you or they have overlooked the mechanism? Perhaps it’s not a different flavor of ice cream that will save them from stomach upset: Perhaps they should stop ice cream? Switch to sorbet – it’s better for you.
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc