I don’t get “psyched” about things related
to business…but I KNOW many people who do.
I get “psyched” (excited) about things in my personal life. For example, I get “psyched” when I do things with my kids – even something as interesting as letting my daughters paint my nails (with what was supposed to be kids removable nail polish). I get “psyched” to take them to NYC and see Mary Poppins Live On Broadway. I get “psyched” when I watch my two daughters navigate us through the NYC Subway System. And of course, I get “psyched” when they do well in school. I get “psyched” when I watch them accomplish their goals.
I also get “psyched” when I look at my wife. She is beautiful and sexy, and in addition to the fact that she is the world’s greatest mother, greatest wife, street smart, and an incredibly intelligent, she also has a rockin’ body.
What I don’t get “psyched”
about is business.
I don’t get “psyched” because I PREpare. I EXPECT certain results because I prepare for them. It’s a headspace thing that most people can’t relate to. And in case you think that this is a shameless plug for my upcoming seminar, please note that registration has closed.
Yes, like everyone, I too have my bad days – but I can count them on one hand.
I don’t hope for the best. Instead, I plan for what’s realistic. If my plans are BIG, then my outcomes are REALISTICALLY BIG. Get it?
Most people I know are “hopeful” when it comes to the way in which they run their business and their life. They see that as a good thing. I think it sucks. That’s what makes the world go round – different people with different perspectives. When you “hope” for things in business, you get “psyched” when things turn out the way you “hoped.” That’s just stupid…to me.
Many folks I know walk around with a map in their head – of where they want to go. It’s an unrealistic map because it overlooks the little potholes, as well as the giant sinkholes. It allows them to screw up and quickly forgive themselves. It allows them to tell themselves that “It will be okay – really, everything will be great in the end.” That’s a bunch of crap. That’s WHY things rarely turn out the way they plan. You can spot the folks who get “psyched” a mile away. They are usually a walking facade. They put on a show so that you don’t see that, beneath the facade – is someone who is always wondering what’s around the corner.
Dr. Marc: “Hey – how’s it hanging?”
Mr. “Psycyhed”: “Everything is awesome….never better…near perfect…fantastic…great to be alive…glorious!”
Dr. Marc: “Bullshit alert! Bullshit alert! Bullshit alert!”
A Short Story…
I spoke at a conference a short time ago. This conference featured 4 speakers – two before lunch and two after. Sadly, I was the guy immediately after lunch. I got there just in time to hear the BIG motivational guy who spoke just before lunch. This is a guy who sells A LOT of CD programs and books. We’re talking A LOT. I listened to this person tell the audience that “Success is your right! – You DESERVE success…you just have to want it and welcome it into your life.” That kind of “stuff” makes my stomach turn.
Naturally, the audience was mesmerized.
Everyone came back from lunch on cloud nine – knowing that all they had to do was WELCOME success, and it would soon be theirs. And here I was, about to go on stage and tell the audience that, “If you want success, you have got to prepare on a level that no one has ever explained before (unless you have a wealthy relative who is going to leave you their fortune)”
The audience was filled with
people who were “psyched.”
After I was introduced, I came out and said the following:
“Wasn’t ____ (the speaker before lunch) incredible?” Everyone applauded. “It’s an honor for me to share the same stage as this legend.” I then said the following: “I have a very different perspective on success – one that is very different from _____ (the other BIG speaker/guru). If you are of the mindset expressed by Mr. ____, then you are probably going to have your balloon burst from my presentation. I am going to turn your red rose…black. I don’t want to do that to those of you who are riding high and want to leave this beautiful ballroom feeling really great. So – would those of you who don’t want the wind knocked out of your sails kindly depart this room and perhaps visit some of the wonderful exhibitors out in the exhibition area. Those who would like to hear a completely different perspective, please stay seated. I will not be offended in the least by those of you don’t want to hear something that may be perceived as being less optimistic.”
Not one person left the room.
I waited for what seemed like an eternity (about 3 minutes). The lady who was the speaker liaison was staring at me, as if to say, “What the #@%#! are you doing?”
Still, no one left the room.
I then began my presentation.
After I was done, I received a standing ovation. It was a long one. I waived to the audience and left the stage. I just wanted to collect my stuff and get the heck out of there – mainly because I didn’t want to run into any of the “helium” speakers. As luck would have it, the person who spoke before lunch came over to me and introduced himself. He told me that he watched what I did and marveled at the way that I handled the situation. I cut him off and said, “Look Mr. _____ (BIG MEGA SPEAKER/GURU), I had no choice. I don’t really think you and I should have been on the program – but since I was, I had to do my thing – and with all due respect, my THING is what I truly believe.”
He told me that he honestly was blown away by the way I handled the situation. He told me that he wasn’t offended and after reviewing my bio and presentation overview, knew that I was going to be put in a very interesting position. He told me that he loved my presentation and he liked my “take” on success. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t – but that was certainly nice of him to say that (LOL). He gave me his business card and asked me if I would be available the following Tuesday for lunch (because he was still going to be in Chicago). I told him that I had an engagement, and asked him if he would take a rain check. He gave me his mobile number and private email, and we parted ways. I thought he was very cool -which was more than I thought of him when the day started.
I know I got sidetracked, but the point is that – in most cases, people get excited to hear about everything that’s possible, without considering everything that’s probable. I don’t think that anything is impossible. I simply believe that anything that’s possible deserves the intense level of preparation and planning worthy of the result. I believe that most people agree with that statement, but I also KNOW that very few people know how to do it.
Most people talk a good game about wanting success and wanting a great life, but in the end, most people just hope that things work out. When they don’t work out, they have a mile-long list of who to blame. And…if they do blame themselves, it’s not done in earnest. It’s a pity-party facade (i.e. “I know that I am X, and I know that I am Y – and it was me who let Dr. Evil take advantage of me, blah, blah, blah…”). Translated, that means that “I was a victim of Dr. Evil.”
Folks who are “success-challenged” find comfort in THINKING that their lack of success is part of a master plan.
Example: “My higher power wants me to be ____, so that’s what I’m going to be – the best ____ EVER!”
I’m here to tell you that NO THING, FORCE, POWAAAAAH or whatever you want to call it, wants you to be one thing or another. The only question you should be asking yourself is, “What do I want?” There is no master plan – even if you have been convinced to think otherwise. You are not entitled to a good life: It’s either something you make, or something you give up on. Your choice – no one else’s.
Those who are not successful (as I define success) are frequently seen running to a place of comfort – a place where they are unchallenged, and a place where they can remained unchallenged. Once they are in a place of safety, they try to cover up the stench of their failure by earning “merit badges” (low-end awards that inflate their egos, but do little to further the larger, more ambitious goals). They get “psyched” over their plaques.
I know a lot of folks with
a lot of merit badges.
They make me sick.
Merit badges keep people “fat and happy.” It keeps them content, and it makes them feel like they have a purpose. That’s why corporations spend lots of $$$ on awards and plaques. It keeps people happy…right where they are. If that’s who you are, then so be it. But if you have bigger goals, SHAME ON YOU!
When corporations did surveys, they found that SOME folks wanted recognition more than they did a bonus. If you have accepted that you can only go so far in life, then heck – an award is just what the doctor ordered. It basically says that “John is a good worker and should stay RIGHT WHERE HE IS!” I bet you anything that John was very “psyched” to have received his award.
Your purpose is to achieve your goals, and to do so with integrity …not by screwing over others. Your purpose is never to become “fat and happy.” Don’t forget that!
In six hours, my kids come back from school…
I can’t wait to kiss those
beautiful little faces.
I’m “Psyched” about that!
…Dr. Marc