A critical flaw in how people travel through life is that they don’t verbalize what they’re thinking – especially when what NEEDS to be said is causing that person to bite their tongue.
While I DO try to avoid hurting the feelings of others, I find that I go well beyond what’s considered “acceptable” or “correct” when it comes to saying what MUST be said. Heck, at 45 with a decent muscular physique, I look better than okay in a pair of swim trunks. But I would clearly look like an idiot if I showed up at the neighbor’s pool wearing a “banana hammock.” That would be considered a social violation. I would hope someone would come up to me and say something like, “Marc, if I look over your way one more time, I think I’m gonna puke.”
When it comes to areas like strategy (personal and business) and personal betterment, I always make a point to be the one who lets the offender know that he or she has committed an offense. If I don’t tell them that their “train is derailing,” then I can’t sleep at night. It’s not that I’m a “I told you so” type of person. No, no. no. It’s just that I can’t stand to see good people do things that I KNOW are going to hurt them.
People tend to use the same “operating system” to make both personal and professional decisions. If the operating system is flawed, the person housing that software will be the last one to admit the flaw(s). In my HEADSPACE Seminar, I break down the weekend into 4 segments – the first of which is called Clearing The Lot. This is when we diagnose flaws in the operating system. This is when you say to yourself (and what I will say to you if need be) what others were thinking, and might have wanted to say if they had more guts.
I’m not suggesting that you go nuts on people who are rude, go nuts on people when they do things that annoy you, or go nuts when you see things (actions) that you know are going to cause someone pain down the road. What I am suggesting is that all of us can spot things that the offenders tend to miss. In other words, you can’t always see the booger that’s trying to leap for freedom from your right nostril. The “It”s none of my business, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut” attitude may sound fine and dandy, but it also may result in someone who you care about – digging themselves into a hole. If you were the person digging the hole, wouldn’t you want someone to throw some cold water on your face?
I would feel like crap if I didn’t say something.
So should you.
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc – The DARK LORD