Upon greeting their customers, a “certain” fast food chain now has their employees saying, “Welcome to _____, what can we MAKE for you today?”
Upon calling some chiropractors, prospective patients are greeted with, “XYZ Chiropractic…I CAN help you!”
Technically speaking, these greetings are considered part of their marketing system. After all, how they greet their prospective customers IS important. Having said that, I will say that entities that break what I refer to as L.A.R. (relating to the potential backlash as a result of utilizing gimmicks), stand to detract prospective business.
Folks who spend more of their time “tweaking” things like their telephone greeting, and less time actually fixing everything else that’s wrong with their business, are often the folks who are in the process of self-destruction. You can spot these folks a mile away: Their restrooms look like five large truck drivers’ asses simultaneously assaulted the the toilet seat, yet – the owner of the business is seen spending weeks, if not months, on their new business card design.
PATIENT: “The restroom is a mess. Someone just had a splatter crap and they…”
DOCTOR: “Shhhh….I have a nifty idea to build my practice. I am going to refer to my patients as ‘members’ instead of patients…err…because they are members…duhh…like a gym! Hey, check out this neat graphic I am going to use on my card. Golly gee, everyone is going to be sooooooo impressed!”
This is an IMPORTANT lesson for any business owner, and deserves special attention from those who are, as you read this blog post, in the process of violating the laws of marketing, while simultaneously offending prospective customers, clients, and patients.
When you cross a certain line (i.e. a fast food joint that asks “What can we MAKE for you…?”), you actually add more depth to the trust barrier (a BAD thing to do). The trust barrier starts out as a 6 foot thick, concrete and steel reinforced wall that stands between you and your prospective customers, clients, and patients. The thicker the wall, the more screwed your business. Ideally, there is no wall – but it’s best to ass-u-me that it starts out as six feet thick. Got it?
When a fast food joint, known for…err…FAST FOOD that is, shall we say, NOT a fine dining establishment, asks what they can MAKE for me, they actually commit a violation. Now I know what some of you are thinking; you’re thinking that “It’s just a line…relax…don’t get all bent out of shape!”
I’m not getting bent out of shape for the simple reason that I don’t eat fast food. That stopped in my junior year of high school. In fact, my children have never had a meal from a fast food joint. Soooo…when I say that this is a violation, what I mean is that it’s a marketing violation.
When you tell your prospective customers that you are going to MAKE something for them, when everyone KNOWS that you are going to do what you’ve always done (which is slap the “food” together on the fly and get it out the door), then what you are doing is telling your prospective customers that you believe they are STUPID.
You KNOW and I KNOW that they aren’t “MAKING” (as in a chef making a made-to-order meal) anything. We KNOW that. It’s not the lie that offends people as much as the fact that these businesses assume that their prospective customers are a bunch of idiots.
Okay, okay – so many of their loyal customers won’t give a crap, and will just snicker. The POINT here is that this “gimmick” is used in many different arenas. To the business owners (maybe even YOU), it’s a slogan or a tagline: “Welcome to Johnny’s Whorehouse: What can we GIVE you today?” But if your marketing plan is hinged on a clever little line, then you my friend, are in trouble. What some people, but not ALL people, hear is, “You are stupid, you are stupid, you are gullible, and you are even more stupid!”
The call to the chiropractor’s office is met with: “Thanks for calling ABC Chiropractic. This is Candy. I CAN help you!” Really? You CAN help me?
What these chiropractors don’t understand is something known as a preconceived notion (LOL). Some people have a preconceived notion that chiropractors believe an adjustment is the CURE for anything and everything.
On a personal level, I believe that regular care from certain chiropractors (not all – just a select handful) is required for optimal health. It’s actually a simple concept: If your spine is structurally deficient, then there is a chance that your body is not working at its best. Reasonable? ABSOLUTELY! Common sense? YES! It then stands to reason that this should be corrected…no different than walking around with food and sugar on my teeth: Should I let it sit there and do damage OR should I be proactive by pulling out the tooth brush, mouthwash and floss?
OKAY…
When a prospective patient calls a chiropractic clinic and is greeted with, “I CAN help you,” they stand the chance (a very BIG chance) of reinforcing the preconceived notion that “Chiropractors believe that their adjustments are a panacea – a CURE for everything…even cancer!” If you’re a chiropractor, then you KNOW that there are members of our profession who believe that they can cure all cancer with a chiropractic adjustment.
If you ask your typical chiropractor for their reaction with regard to what I just stated about “I CAN help you,” they will REACT with, “That’s a bunch of hooey. What a load of crap! When people hear, ‘I CAN help you,’ they know that they are in the right place…err…duh…because they know that they will be helped! Powaah ON!!!”
REALLY?
CHIROPRACTOR: “Swerdlick, you is the devil! You is a non-believer!!!! I am going to turn your powaaah off Dr. Marc! I love when our reception person, Candy Cane, answers the phone with ‘I CAN help you!’ How dare you criticize the powaaaah of chiropractic!!!!”
DR. MARC: “Every time you pull that kind of crap and you feed into preconceived notions, you hurt your entire profession. Should your profession simply sit there and TAKE IT, or should they do something about it?”
Patients who are under the chiropractor’s care will stand up in defense of “I CAN help you!” After all, what else would you expect them to do? If they agree that the telephone greeting is both foolish and condescending, then they are acknowledging that they’ve been HAD. It’s kind of like purchasing a small bag of “Magic Pixie Dust” for $60.00, and then coming to the realization that it’s…err…SAND from the local beach.
As a business owner, you can learn what not to do – in many cases, via simple observation. First on the list is DO NOT TRY TO TRICK your customers, clients, or patients. You stand the chance of offending people on various levels. Why would you want to do that when all you have to do is say, “Welcome to XYZ. How may I help you?”
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc & The Mind Virus Team