I deal with a great many individuals who are so close-minded that, for a normal person, the amount of frustration would be unbearable. I say “normal person” because I am clearly abnormal. You see, I JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT MUCH OF ANYTHING (outside that of my family and close friends). It’s true.
There was a short time when I DID care, but I quickly learned that the majority of folks out there are UNREASONABLE.
For example, I have a difficult time accepting anything from a person who claims to be reasonable, but then argues the facts of their religion. To ME, that’s like talking about physics – and then talking about Peter Pan (in the same breath).
Likewise, I would hope that someone who IS a “believer” would not waste their time with someone (like ME) who cares less about answering to a higher power, and cares more about enjoying life – and simply being a good person who lives without fear and believes that answering to one’s self is the ultimate truth.
Life is too short to waste energy on anyone who JUST DOESN’T GET IT. In my world, the number of people who just don’t get it (in terms of marketing strategy and/or personal betterment) is – well, HUGE. There was a time (way back yonder) when I used to show certain folks the errors of their ways – in hopes that the person across the table would get it. What I didn’t do is look at the “interior” of the person whose mind I was attempting to shift.
I smartened up pretty quick and learned that unreasonable people will rarely have their moments of reason, and for the most part, will always be unreasonable until they reach a certain moment of realization. When an unreasonable person is the individual whose mind you’re attempting to shift, then my advice is this; BETTER TO WAIT.
What are you waiting for?
You are waiting for the person to FAIL and FALL many times over. Someone who is inherently unreasonable will FAIL and FALL no matter who they are with – no matter where they go – until a certain experience that opens the window of reality.
These are the folks who BELIEVE that a move to a new town will provide a chance to start over – and yet, many years later, you find these very same folks in circumstances that are strikingly similar to where they were just a few years back. These are the folks who will argue…and argue…and argue, in hopes of changing minds, and yet, they will NEVER succeed:
“Swerdlick, can’t you see why President X sucks, and why we need Johnny Balls in office??? President X is this, that, and YES – the other thing. Everything will be better as soon as we get President X out of office, and bring in Balls! Balls = good! I vote for Balls!”
You tend to see a lot more unreasonable people pooling in certain areas of life. In fact, it would be “reasonable” to suggest that many unreasonable people are attracted to particular professions and/or particular individuals – simply because certain environments provide a habitat for the inhibition of reason. Being unreasonable doesn’t mean that you are not smart: It just means that your decision-making process and your actions are as steady as a bowl of jello on a roller coaster.
Unreasonable people tend to lower the bar after each FALL and/or FAILURE. That’s often the reason why a woman’s second marriage is to a man who is…err…physically less attractive but far more “secure” (safe). Thus, the man who said to himself, “Better To Wait” until she goes through her first marriage, purchases new boobs, and starts working out – is probably the guy who will eventually get a better looking woman, but one who is less, shall we say, “fun” and “adventurous.”
“I’d like you to meet my new husband, Harold. He is such a NICE man. He cares about me…he really, really, really, really cares about me. OMG – the stuff I used to do with Rocco was – err, something you might have seen in a porno. OMG – like, we used to have sex twice a day – EVERY DAY. I used to wear sexy clothing and dress trashy in the bedroom. But those days are long gone. Now I have Harold…who is such a nice man and doesn’t want those things.”
OKAY…
If you are sleeping with a man or woman who is a “I need to make sure that everything is PERFECT before we ____ (get married, have kids, buy a bigger home, etc., etc., etc.),” then guess what? You have chosen incorrectly! Congratulations!!! It’s one thing to prepare, but allow me to be the first one to tell you that there is NEVER a “perfect” time for anything.
How should you have known? What the signs to look for? How do you know when things are where they need to be to finally pull the trigger? That’s what I teach in some of my seminars. My point in generating this post isn’t to provide you with the answers. No, no, no. It’s to simply help you put your finger on the problem.
Ever heard someone say, “If I’ve changed just ONE LIFE (or SAVED JUST ONE LIFE), then I am successful.” That’s a load of garbage. No one wants to save just one life. So why even go there? The reason: To make yourself FEEL like you did something worthwhile. Who the hell pursues something that has meaning, only to impact one life? We all know that’s ridiculous – but only I (the Dark Lord) will say what most people fear saying. I’m not suggesting, even for a moment, that saving just one life is not significant. But come on – we all know that you pursued what you pursued to have a greater impact. So why lie?
A bad marriage and a terrible business are very similar in that the players (participants) will nearly always “stick with it” – and in the case of a marriage, seek religious counseling (LOL). In many cases, that’s like putting a tiny little bandage on a large, gushing bullet wound. Good luck with that. Perhaps you will rediscover your religion, and come to the conclusion that now – your higher powaaaah is guiding your path:
“Dr. Marc, we went to counseling and discovered…Smitty (our higher power). Actually, my husband Tony found Smitty after going multiple rounds with 7 truck-stop prostitutes. We now go to our house of worship twice a day, every day of the week. We read from our book of worship and now allow Smitty to guide our path! Tony hasn’t been perfect. He’s had a few dozen whores since seeing the light, but I KNOW (sniffle, sniffle, sniffle) that Smitty is there – and as long as we have Smitty in our lives, all will be good…err…I hope (sniffle, sniffle, sniffle).”
Sure thing. See you on the dark side.
One of my client’s first referred to me as THE DARK LORD many years back. In his words…
“Marc, you say what most people think when they have doubts, and you say what most people won’t say – even when they want to.”
It wasn’t because I’m a Satan worshipper. No, no, no. First of all, I’d have to believe in Satan – and I don’t. So that rules that out.
My response at that time was very simple and to the point:
“When you experience certain “interruptions” in life (for me, very early on), you become aware to the degree that it’s like pulling back the screen door to reveal a level of clarity that makes you far less tolerant of BS.”
Unreasonable people can become reasonable, but only after FALLING and/or FAILING to the point that he or she reaches their own “wall.” When they finally hit the wall, then – and only then will they start seeking a solution or solutions for a shift in behavior. Until that time, it’s BETTER TO WAIT.
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc (The DARK LORD)