Have you missed me?
I KNOW you have!
Sorry for my brief departure. I know that it’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog post, but it was for good reason. We’ve been VERY busy here, and something had to give.
THE STUPID TEST
This test will assess your level of gullibility and stupidity. A grade of ‘A’ means that you are an idiot. The grade you want is a big fat ‘F.’
Step 1: Please CAREFULLY review the following image:
Step 2: Please write down your initial thoughts.
Step 3: Please score yourself 1 point if you agree with the statements below, 3 points if you kind of agree with me, and 5 points if you completely disagree with me.
Here we go…
Statement #1:
Any business entity that runs a FULL PAGE ad when they are “almost sold out,” is an entity that believes you are *#@!king idiot. Make no mistake – they think YOU are stupid. They are using pressure and scarcity as a means of creating anxiety, thus driving you to register for the seminar…RIGHT NOW!
Statement #2:
Dr. Candy Cane is claiming that she has “secrets” that have never been revealed. The likelihood of that being the case is about as likely as you dying from drinking a glass of reverse osmosis filtered water.
FYI: There are no “secrets” – just information that you may not be aware of. Dr. Cane is also claiming that she is going to make you a millionaire this year…as in the next six months. Really??? Sounds VERY believable. After all, how could a woman with lips like Dr. Cane be lying?
Statement #3:
Dr. Candy Cane has invited guest speakers (hooray)…which means what? Here’s what it means: Dr. Cane is going to be featuring a slew of speakers who are going to give you a few tid-bits, which in turn, will lead you to the back of the room where each speaker will have a table set so as to sell you lots of sh_t, all of which have prices that end with the number 7 (i.e. $97.77, $77.77, $147.77, $197 and so on).
Whether you attend a convention or a “bootcamp,” the formula is nearly always the same. The speakers have a booth or a table somewhere on the premises, and their goal is to lead you in with the chum and then SELL, SELL, SELL – in hopes of an upsell to a MEGA purchase.
All of their products have MONEY-BACK GUARANTEES. Do you know why? Well…the idea of offering a money-back guarantee started many decades back – as a legitimate means of reinforcing the purchase.
Today, however, a money-back guarantee is simply a marketing ploy. The folks selling you stuff know that only a small percentage of individuals will actually go through the trouble of attempting to get a refund. They’d rather suck it up than go through all the trouble of calling the company, sitting on hold, repackaging the product, etc. Additionally, in many cases (even with a NO QUESTIONS ASKED policy) they put you through a process that puts the onus on you to prove that you attempted to use their program as instructed.
Statement #4:
Next are all the claims (beneath the authors’ mini-bio). Nearly all the claims are variations of the “truth.” The real question is, “WHOSE TRUTH?”
Claims that suggest that you will be “wealthy beyond your dreams in record time” usually mean that THEY will be wealthy in record time after 1,000 “suckers” buy into their offer.
Claims of value are TYPICALLY overstated. For example, if I sell you a program for $2,000 and then claim that it’s worth $50,000, most of you will believe that you just hooked the deal of a lifetime – especially if the deal ended with a ‘7’ (i.e. “A $597 Value!”). As pathetic as it is for me to believe that any idiot would fall for this, the fact is that many of you have committed yourself to stupidity.
Statement #5:
Finally is the CALL TO ACTION – the “ACT NOW!!!” or “CALL NOW!!!” statements that all of us have seen either on television, in magazines, or in trade publications. Seriously folks – if they were almost sold out, then why do they care if you ACT NOW??? Why bother begging you to act??? Hel-lo???
Your Score:
Please calculate your score. The lowest score – which is a 5, means that you passed the test with flying colors and will receive A BIG FAT ‘F’ (because you failed The Stupid Test). Who the hell WANTS to pass The Stupid Test?
The highest score – which is a 25, means that you’re dumber than a box of rocks. Congratulations – you’ve earned yourself an ‘A.’ Hopefully most of you got a 5.
Post-Test Analysis:
If you fall for one of these offers, then you deserve all the BAD that comes with your mistake. Seriously – you deserve to pay the price for your stupidity.
Most business owners (and even many corporations) stoop to using tricks rather than build value in their offer. The end result is that – in the short-term, they “hook” the customer. In the long run, they’re really a one-trick pony. The problem with the one-trick pony type of operator, is that their winnings run out, and recovering their credibility is nearly impossible.
My goal, as well as the goal of my company, is to make you BETTER. Becoming better often means acknowledging stupidity, calling it what it is, and then reminding yourself of the lesson (or lessons) you learned again…and again…and again.
If you’ve enjoyed this article, why not do some good and have some of your “stupid” family members, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and colleagues – read this article and take The Stupid Test.
Look for a NEW blog post later this week – Thursday, and don’t forget to LIKE our Facebook Page by going directly to www.facebook.com/mindvirus. If you haven’t done so already, please feel free to subscribe to our E-Zine. Just look to your left and sign-up!
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc – The Dark Lord Of MIND VIRUS