Perhaps one of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned in my life is NOT that you can’t please everyone. Instead, what I’ve learned is that you’re foolish for even trying to please everyone.
When I sit down with a new client, I prefer to do so over a drink or a cup of coffee. I like to find a nice, non-corporate-like environment where we can get to know each other. I LISTEN first – so that I’m able to diagnose whether or not I can help the prospective client. What I’m listening for is not their needs, rather what the client is willing to do to make a change.
There are many people in this world who WANT to achieve certain concrete goals, but most folks aren’t willing to “dig in” and do what it takes.
Consider The Following:
Lots of folks want to lose weight, but what they aren’t willing to do is:
1). Look to the source of their weight gain
2). Embrace a long-term strategy to remove the weight and keep it off
Instead, what many obese individuals are looking for is a system that circumvents the hard truths that they are struggling to keep in hiding. They are looking for a magic solution…and a magic word:
“The magic word is DONUT. That’s right – DONUT. You can eat all the donuts you like, and you will lose weight and feel great!”
The folks who are looking for the magic word, are the same folks who are betting that their vast fortune will be the result of winning the lottery, or as in the circumstances above, going on the “all-donut diet” as a means of dropping the weight.
If you are trying to help the folks who are looking for the magic word (aka magic system), then let me be the first to tell you that you’ve lost the game – even before you’ve started to play. It’s true.
Unfortunately, I must admit to having learned this very lesson through three very painful experiences. All three experiences were different, but at the end of the day, the lesson was still the same. Perhaps one of the worst experiences was my work with chiropractors.
In short, I was attempting to present a value-generating marketing system to folks who, for the most part, have little to no respect for the service that defines their profession. Yes, there are a small handful of doctors for whom I have GREAT respect and who “get it.” What I eventually realized is that I WAS THE PROBLEM. Metaphorically-speaking, I was trying to teach them a long-term weight loss plan, and they were looking for the magic word (i.e. “Donut”). I knew that my information was valid. My other clients “got it,” so why wouldn’t the chiropractors? It took me a little time to come to the realization that you can’t teach value to folks (many, but not ALL) who believe that marketing is setting up a “Pick your FREE service” roulette wheel at the county fair. Their goal is to “get em in NOW” – working their turf like a game show host. That’s not their problem, it’s mine. Now I get it.
The fact that chiropractors seem to jump from one “magic” system to the next, is evidence that they are always on the hunt for their own magic word.
Society teaches us that it is better to try (to help people) than not to try. I do not agree with that. I believe that the better lesson is ANALYSIS. First look at a situation under a microscope and honestly conclude whether or not you even have a realistic chance of achieving your goal.
When you try to please (or help) other folks who are not capable of being helped, then – in the end, it’s less about you not succeeding and MORE about you damaging yourself. Oh sure, people tell you not to take these things personally, but as a PERSON, I take everything personally. How else can you take it?
A lottery drawing is not personal, but failing to help someone who truly needs help, is truly a personal failure. It takes something away from you, and anyone who tells you otherwise is not being honest.
If you can help someone, and you truly KNOW that they can be helped via your assistance, then by all means, fight the battle. But trying to help someone who doesn’t really want your help (even though they may say otherwise), not only takes something away from YOU, but also takes something away from the next person in line who actually could use your help – but is waiting for you to conclude your attempt with the person who is searching for the magic word.
Have A GREAT Day!
…Dr. Marc